Douglas Diaries March 6, 2005 Part I

THE SENATE IS GEARING UP FOR A VOTE ON WHETHER TO RAISE THE MINIMUM WAGE FOR THE FIRST TIME IN EIGHT YEARS…

ISN’T THAT REALLY ALL THE MORE ONE NEEDS TO KNOW? I WOULD SAY THAT IF YOU HAVEN’T RAISED THE MINIMUM WAGE IN ALMOST A DECADE IT’S WELL OVERDUE. VOTE ALREADY…
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I DON’T KNOW IF YOU SAW THIS BUT FISHERMEN OFF THE NANTUCKET COAST CAUGHT A 22 POUND LOBSTER.

THE FIRST THING I WONDERED WAS IF I COULD EAT 22 POUNDS OF LOBSTER WITHOUT THROWING UP …BUT APPARENTLY OTHERS TRIED AND TRIED TO SPARE THE ANOMILE THAT ANIMAL LOVERS CALLED BUBBA, AND THEY SUCEEDED.

OLD BUBBA WAS SPARED…AND THEY MOVED HIM TO THE PITTSBURGH ZOO AQUARIUM WHERE BUBBA PROMPTLY … DIED.

AND PEOPLE ACTUALLY WONDERED WHY. BUBBA WAS ESTIMATED TO BE 100 YEARS OLD. YOU DON’T TAKE A HUNDRED YEAR OLD CREATURE, PICK HIM UP IN A NET, THROW HIM IN A WATER TANK, TOSS HIM IN A PLANE … FLY HIS ASS TO PITTSBURGH…TOSS HIM IN ANTOHER TANK AND THEN LET PEOPLE PAY TO GAUK AT HIM WITHOUT SOME RAMIFICATIONS.

IF I WAS THE FISHERMAN WHO CAUGHT BUBBA I WOULD HAVE SAID … YOU MADE IT A HUNDRED YEARS WITHOUT BEING CAUGHT SO BACK YA GO. WHO WANTS TO EAT AN ELDERLY LOBSTER ANYWAY?
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A NEW STUDY SAYS THAT PERFORMERS WHO GO LATER ON IN A COMPETITION USUALLY FARE BETTER WITH THEIR SCORE.

THIS ISN’T VERY HELPFUL SINCE MOST OF US WON’T BE SINGING ON AMERICAN IDOL ANYTIME SOON.

BUT IT’S ONE OF THOSE TID BITS YOU CAN STORE IN YOUR MIND. IF LET’S SAY YOU HAPPEN TO BE IN A MENAGE A TROIS ANYTIME SOON, YOU MIGHT WANT TO GO SECOND…SO YOU’LL BE REMEMBERED AS THE BETTER ONE.
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A NEWS STUDY THIS WEEK OUT OF PORTLAND, OREGON SAYS THAT SUICIDES HAVE OUTNUMBERED HOMICIDES IN THE UNITED STATES AND SOME 90 PERCENT OF PEOPLE WHO KILL THEMSELVES SUFFER FROM A DIANOSABLE AND PREVENTABLE PROBLEM LIKE DEPRESSION.

WOW…SO PEOPLE WHO KILL THEMSELVES ARE DEPRESSED? THESE GUYS ARE ON TOP OF THEIR GAME ARENT’ THEY?

BUT I THOUGHT THAT WAS INTERESTING THOUGH…WE ARE DYING LESS AT THE HANDS OF OTHERS THAN WE ARE BY OUR OWN HANDS.

SO DOES THIS MEAN I HAVE A GREATER CHANCE OF KILLING MYSELF THAN BEING KILLED?
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THOSE OF YOU TERRIFIED OF AIR TRAVEL LIKE ME…LISTEN UP. THIS SHOULD MAKE EVERYONE FEEL BETTER…A BRITISH AIRWAYS JET CONTINUED ON AN 11 HOUR FLIGHT TO LONDON AFTER LOSING ONE OF ITS FOUR ENGINES SHORTLY AFTER TAKING OFF FROM LOS ANGELES INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT.
THE PILOT MADE AN EMERGENCY LANDING IN MANCHESTER ENGLAND ABOUT 160 MILES SHORT OF LONDON NOT BECAUSE OF THE ENGINE THOUGH…BUT BECAUE THE PLANE WAS RUNNING LOW ON FUEL.

ALL 351 PASSENGERS WERE FINE AND THE PLANE CROSSED THE ATLANTIC WITH ONLY 3 ENGINES…

I STILL DON’T FELL BETTER.
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A NEW SURVEY SAYS THAT GAS PRICES ARE UP. HEY…I DON’T NEED A SURVEY TO TELL ME THAT GAS PRICES WENT UP. IT’S NOW OVER THIRTY DOLLARS TO FILL MY CAR UP. THANK GOD I DON’T DRIVE AN SUV.

I THINK THE $1.25 DAYS REALLY ARE GONE. I WAS HOLDING OUT HOPE THAT THEY WOULD COME BACK…BUT I THINK THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL HAS OFFICIALLY BEEN EXTINGUISHED.

stevedouglasradio@yahoo.com

Steve Douglas can be heard on AM 850 KOA Radio in Denver, Colorado from 10pm to midnight Pacific Time. The show can be heard in 38 states, Mexico, and Canada, or on the web at 850koa.com.