THE DOUGLAS DIARIES APRIL 3, 2005

THE AMERICAN CANCER SOCIETY HAS RELEASED A NEW STUDY TELLING ALL OF US THAT MORE THAN 60 PERCENT OF ALL CANCER DEATHS COULD BE PREVENTED IF AMERICANS JUST STOPPED SMOKING, EXERCISED MORE, ATE HEALTHIER, AND GOT RECOMMENDED CANCER SCREENINGS.

IS THIS REALLY NEWS WORTHY? DID PEOPLE ALL AROUND THE COUNTRY READ THIS AND THEN RUN AROUND TELLING THEIR FAMILY AND CO-WORKERS, "HEY! HAVE YOU HEARD YET?" THEY WOULD SHOUT, "WE CAN ALL REDUCE CANCER RISKS IF WE JUST STOP SMOKING AND EXERCISE."

THEN, ASTONISHED PEOPLE EVERYWHERE WOULD THINK, "OH MY GOD! COULD THIS BE TRUE? THIS IS INCREDIBLE NEWS! I'VE GOT TO GO...I'VE GOT TO CALL MY FAMILY."

IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED...HUMANS ARE A BIT SELF-DESTRUCTIVE. IT'S JUST OUR NATURE.
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ALONG THE SAME VEIN HERE IS THE FOOD AND DRUG ADMINISTRATION THIS WEEK ANNOUNCING THAT IT IS SEEKING ADVICE ON HOW TO CHANGE FOOD LABELS TO HELP US UNDERSTAND BETTER WHAT WE ARE EATING.

IS THIS JUST THE F-D-A TRYING TO JUSTIFY THEIR EXISTENCE? IN MY MIND, THEY SURE AREN'T PULLING THEIR WEIGHT WHEN IT COMES TO APPROVING SAFE DRUGS FOR AMERICANS.

NOW I WANT TO ASK YOU: ARE YOU CONFUSED WHEN LOOKING AT A FOOD LABEL? DO THEY THINK WE'RE ALL IDIOTS? IF YOU'RE HAVING TROUBLE UNDERSTANDING FOOD LABELS THEN YOU'RE THE KIND OF PERSON THAT NEEDS WARNINGS LIKE, "DON'T USE THIS DEVICE IN THE BATHTUB" ON YOUR HAIR DRYER.

IT'S NOT THAT DIFFICULT. THE LABEL TELLS YOU HOW MANY SERVINGS ARE IN THE BOX, WHAT A SERVING SIZE IS, THEN HOW MUCH OF WHAT IS IN EACH SERVING. IT GIVES YOU THE METRIC MEASUREMENT, USUALLY IN GRAMS, AND THEN THE PERCENTAGE OF THE RECOMMENDED DAILY ALLOWANCE.

THE FDA IS THINKING IT NEEDS TO MAKE THE CALORIE MEASUREMENT MORE PROMINENT. LIKE ALL OF AMERICA IS FAT BECAUSE WE DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO TELL HOW MANY CALORIES WERE IN OUR DOUBLE STUFFED-CHOCOLATE- FUDGE-CHOCOLATE CHIP-HERSHEY KISS-BROWNIE.

JEESE!
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TWO IDIOTS ARE TRYING TO SEE IF THEY CAN SKI FROM ALASKA TO RUSSIA THIS WEEK. TROY HENKELS AND DIXIE DANSERCOER PLAN TO MAKE THE TREK AND COME BACK IN JUST A MONTH.

IS IT JUST ME OR DO YOU HATE PEOPLE THAT HAVE THIS KIND OF TIME ON THEIR HANDS? YOU KNOW, ENOUGH TIME TO JUST TAKE A COUPLE OF MONTHS AND ATTEMPT SOMETHING COMPLETELY WORTHLESS?

THIS IS THE KIND OF THING I PICTURED BEAVIS AND BUTT-HEAD TRYING WHEN THEY GOT OLDER.
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HYUNDAI AND KIA HAVE RECALLED ABOUT 38,000 VEHICLES TO FIX A POSSIBLE PROBLEM WITH THE STABILITY-CONTROL SYSTEM. THE ONE PEARL OF WISDOM I'VE TAKEN FROM THIS STORY IS THAT HYUNDAIS AND KIAS WERE STABLE TO BEGIN WITH...WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT?
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NORDIC TELECOMMUNICATIONS SAYS IT IS LAUNCHING A NEW PRODUCT THAT LETS DOCTORS MONITOR THEIR PATIENTS THROUGH A WIRELESS DEVICE.

THE NEW SYSTEM WHICH IS CALLED BODYKOM CONNECTS WIRELESSLY TO SENSORS ON THE PATIENT THEN LETS MEDICAL SERVICES KNOW IF SOMETHING IRREGULAR IS GOING ON IN THE PATIENTS BODY.

I'M CONFUSED ABOUT THIS TECHNOLOGY. WHY WOULD THIS MONITORING DEVICE LET A DOCTOR KNOW IF SOMETHING IS WRONG INSTEAD OF JUST TELLING THE PATIENT? HOPEFULLY, THE DOCTOR IS PAYING ATTENTION TO HIS COMPUTER.

WHAT IS THE DOCTOR GOING TO DO ANYWAY? IS HE GOING TO CALL YOU AND TELL YOU TO GET TO EMERGENCY ROOM? WHY NOT JUST ALERT YOU, THE PATIENT? FOR INSTANCE, SAY, "HEY GET TO THE HOSPITAL, YOU'RE ABOUT TO DIE."

THIS IS JUST WASTING VALUABLE TIME.
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THE DISPUTE BETWEEN TERRI SCHIAVO'S PARENTS AND THE HUSBAND, MICHAEL SCHIAVO CONTINUES…

WE'VE ALREADY STUCK OUR NOSE IN THEIR BUSINESS. NOW, THE MEDIA IS TAKING IT TOO FAR AND STICKING THEIR NOSE IN THE MIDDLE OF A DISPUTE ABOUT WHERE TO BURRY HER.

THIS RADIO SHOW AND MY WEBSITE WILL HAVE NO PART OF THIS DEBATE, EXCEPT TO SAY THAT ALL THE PEOPLE INVOLVED IN THIS ARE BEING SELFISH, PETTY, AND RIDICULOUS. IN FACT, THEY ARE DOWN RIGHT EMBARASSING THEMSELVES AT THIS POINT.

BUT IF THEY WANTED MY OPINION, I GUESS THEY WOULD HAVE ASKED FOR IT.

stevedouglasradio@yahoo.com

Steve Douglas can be heard on AM 850 KOA Radio in Denver, Colorado from 10pm to midnight Pacific Time. The show can be heard in 38 states, Mexico, and Canada, or live on the web at 850koa.com.