Terri Schiavo

Terri Schiavo was in an accident in 1990 following a heart attack. The resulting brain damage left her unable to care for herself. For the last 15 years, Terri's life has been sustained through a feeding tube. Terri was awarded a substantial medical malpractice settlement for the improperly diagnosed potassium deficiency that led to the heart attack. That money has been spent primarily on her care.

Doctors hired by Terri's husband, parents, and other doctors appointed by the courts have all agreed that Terri is in what's referred to as a "persistent vegetative state". Her cerebral cortex, the area of the brain where cognitive thought and feelings occur, is now just spinal fluid. Despite video of Terri, which depicts her acting as any other mentally retarded individual, that is not the case. According to doctors, those movements are merely involuntary spasms and do not reflect any cognitive thoughts or feelings.

Her husband, Michael, has fought for years and years to have her feeding tube removed. Terri's parents say that they do not want the tube removed and have fought Michael on this in the courts. 19 different judges in six different courts have ruled for Michael. The US Supreme Court refused to hear the case. It should have been done at that point.

Then, in an 11th hour vote, congress passed a law which allowed the case to once again be reviewed by a federal court judge. This, even after judge after judge has ruled that there is clear and convincing evidence to suggest that Terri would have wanted the feeding tube removed.

First and foremost, Congress has no place intervening in the private lives and decisions of Americans. This law is not sweeping reform for the entire way of handling people in a persistent vegetative state, it is a law aimed directly at intervening in one case: Terri's case.

So why should a spouse be the one to make this decision and not the parents? A spouse is a person with whom you decide to build a life, family, and home with. A spouse is someone you love, spend more time with than anyone else, and a person with whom you share the most intimate details of your life. Conversely, parents, as is nature's course, grow apart from their children over time. Also, parents often times reflect values of an older generation, values which are not shared by their children. Therefore, spouses are best suited to make these decisions.

Leave it to Congressman to use this case as an attempt to garner support from their constituents. Leave it to Americans to usurp the will of this woman, as is communicated through her husband, based solely on fifteen seconds of video. We have never met this woman. We didn't marry her, raise her, love her, do anything with her, but yet we know what's best for her. We pressure Congress to act. We try to save her-- just because it seems like the right thing to do. What we don't realize is that we are making a decision that isn't ours to make, and we are basing this decision on a very small sliver of the big picture.

I have yet to find anyone who says that if they were to be in Terri's shoes that they would want to be kept alive. Let me clarify that: I've yet to find anyone to say this AND have a good reason for it.

So, for now, those of you who think Terri can feel, then we are pulling out the tube that feeds her and plugging it back in time and time again. For those of you, as I do, who believe that Terri can't feel anything, then we are torturing a soul and a spirit by pulling the feeding tube in and out.

Good luck Terri. I'm sorry for the way we all have acted.

Steve Douglas

stevedouglasradio@yahoo.com

Steve Douglas can be heard on AM 850 KOA Radio in Denver, Colorado from 10pm to midnight Pacific Time. The show can be heard in 38 states, Mexico, and Canada, or on the web at 850koa.com.

Hello everyone!!

Thank you for visiting my blog. I'm sure you're tired of the caps lock already. Thanks for being patient. The Douglas Diaries format is standard in radio and television scripts. Not to mention, it's easier for me to read.

The Douglas Diaries is just the opening monologue of the Steve Douglas Show on AM850 KOA Radio in Denver, Colorado (Sunday evenings 10pm to midnight Pacific time or on the web at 850koa.com). The rest of the show is current events and other discussions.

We take calls, we do interviews, we do it all. This show is ahead of the main stream media by usually a week. If you listen to my show, you will know what the network news will be talking about for the coming week.

Feel free to write me.

Talk to you all soon, I will share my thoughts with you on the Terri Schiavo case, as we discussed last night.

stevedouglasradio@yahoo.com

Steve Douglas can be heard on AM 850 KOA Radio in Denver, Colorado from 10pm to midnight Pacific Time. The show can be heard in 38 states, Mexico, and Canada, or on the web at 850koa.com.

DOUGLAS DIARIES MARCH 20, 2005 PART II

GAS PRICES JUMPED NEARLY 13 CENTS AGAIN. THIS HEADLINE IS ALMOST AS COMMON NOWADAYS AS "MARINES KILLED BY INSURGENTS IN A ROADSIDE BOMB IN IRAQ."

IN A LOT OF WAYS, THIS IS REALLY A SAD TESTIMENT TO THE WORLD TODAY. NEVERTHELESS, IF THIS DOESN’T MOTIVATE PEOPLE TO TRY TO FIND ANOTHER ENERGY SOURCE, I DON’T KNOW WHAT WILL.

I’M FAIRLY SURE THE ANSWER IS NOT DRILLING IN ALASKA, NOR IS IT CONTINUING ON THE CURRENT COURSE WE’RE ON. BUT, THERE REALLY ISN’T ANY REASON THAT WE SHOULDN’T BE USING NATURAL GAS OR OTHER FORMS OF FUEL AS OUR MAIN ENERGY SOURCE.

AND I’M A CONSERVATIVE. LOOK, THE TIME HAS COME EVERYONE.
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KAY PLOZ-EEZ-KA IS A NURSE IN ST LOUIS. KAY FELT SO BAD SEEING HER PATIENTS SUFFER WHILE SHE WAS BLESSED WITH SUCH GOOD HEALTH, THAT SHE DONATED A KIDNEY TO ONE OF HER PATIENTS.

THAT IS ABOVE AND BEYOND THE CALL OF DUTY IN MY OPINION. THIS IS WHY POLICEMEN CAN’T BE SYMPATHETIC.

IT WOULDN’T WORK TOO WELL IF I SAID, "LISTEN MR. BANK ROBBER, I REALIZE YOU HAVE KIDS AT HOME, AND YOU PROBABLY AREN’T THAT BAD OF A GUY, SO I TELL YA WHAT:
I’LL SERVE YOUR SENTENCE FOR YOU."
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PEDIATRIC SLEEP EXPERT DR RICHARD FERBER HAS DEVELOPED METHODS TO HELP PARENTS GET THEIR BABY TO SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT.

YOU HAVE TO LET THE BABY JUST CRY AND CRY. I THOUGHT THIS MIGHT HELP OUR WOMEN LISTENERS…SO AFTER YOU GIVE THE OLD “I HAVE A HEADACHE EXCUSE", YOU JUST HAVE TO LET YOUR HUSBAND WHIMPER AND WHIMPER. EVENTUALLY HE WILL FALL ASLEEP.
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FORMER CONNECTICUT GOVERNOR, JOHN ROWLAND WAS SENTENCED TO A YEAR IN PRISON AND FOUR MONTHS OF HOUSE ARREST FRIDAY FOR SELLING HIS OFFICE IN A CORRUPTION SCANDAL THAT DESTROYED HIS CAREER.

A CORRUPT POLITICAIN?? I KNOW I’M SHOCKED TOO.
WHAT’S NEXT, A SKUNK THAT SMELLS? A DOG THAT BARKS? WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?
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A NEW CHEWING GUM IN JAPAN SAYS IT WILL HELP ENHANCE BREAST SIZE, SHAPE, AND TONE.

THE GUM WORKS BY SLOWLY RELEASING COMPOUNDS CONTAINED IN AN EXTRACT FROM A PLANT WHICH IS USED IN TRADITIONAL MEDICINE.

THIS IS A GOOD IDEA. I WANT ADVIL GUM, BECAUSE I HAVE A HEADACHE AFTER AN HOUR OR SO OF READING THE NEWS. HERE IN AMERICA, I WOULDN’T BE SURPRISED TO SEE SOME PHONY WEIGHT LOSS DRUG PACKAGED AS A GUM. I BET THIS IS THE FIRST OF A LONG TREND OF MEDICINES, VITAMINS, MINERALS, AND OTHER THINGS PACKED INTO GUM. WE HAVE ALREADY SEEN THIS TREND BEGINNING WITH THE ADVENT OF NICOTINE GUM.

AND WHAT THE HELL HAS HAPPENED TO GUM ANYWAY? GUM USED TO BE FUN. THERE WAS GUM CIGARETTES AND CIGARS, GUM CHEWING TOBACCO, GUM TAPE, GUM CHUNKS, COMIC GUM, GUM BALLS, GUM WITH LIQUID SUGAR IN THE MIDDLE. NOW THERE’S JUST THE TIN FOIL GUM.

YOU KNOW THE ONE: THE LITTLE TIN FOIL PACKAGE THAT RESEMBLES PILLS THAT YOU POP THE GUM OUT OF INDIVIDUALLY WRAPPED SLOTS AFTER YOU SLIDE THE WHOLE THING OUT OF A CARDBOARD SLEEVE. AND AFTER ALL THAT, ALL YOU GET IS THIS LITTLE TINY RECTANGLE SLIVER OF GUM. THIS LITTLE PIECE OF GUM HAS SO MUCH FLAVOR, IT MAKES YOUR EYES WATER FOR THE FIRST MINUTE AND A HALF, AND THEN ALL OF THE SUDDEN, TASTES LIKE NOTHING. THEN, THIS LITTLE SLIVER OF GUM IS SO SMALL, IT'S LUCKY IF YOU DON'T LOSE IT IN BETWEEN YOUR TEETH.

I REALIZE THE OLD GUM LOST ITS FLAVOR QUICKLY AS WELL, BUT AT LEAST YOU LOOKED LIKE YOU WERE CHEWING ON A SMALL ANIMAL FOR A FEW MINUTES.
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AND, AS IF YOU NEEDED PROOF THAT PEOPLE IN THIS COUNTRY ARE CRAZY: ON SCOTT PETERSON'S FIRST DAY IN PRISON, SWITCHBOARD OPERATORS AT SAN QUENTIN STATE PRISON IN CALIFORNIA FIELDED AMOST THREE DOZEN CALLS TO PETERSON FROM WOMEN ACROSS THE COUNTRY, SOME OF THEM WANTED TO PROPOSE MARRIAGE TO PETERSON.

NOW, EVEN IF YOU THOUGHT THAT SCOTT PETERSON PROBABLY WAS INNOCENT (THEORETICALLY, SAY HE WERE OUT OF PRISON) IS IT REALLY WORTH THE RISK TO MARRY A GUY WHO WAS ACCUSED OF KILLING HIS WIFE.

I’M SORRY, BUT SOME ACCUSATIONS SHOULD RULE A PERSON OUT OF THE ELIGIBILITY POOL FOR POTENTIAL MATES, AND MURDERING A FORMER SPOUSE IS REALLY HIGH ON THAT LIST (FOR ME AT LEAST).

stevedouglasradio@yahoo.com

Steve Douglas can be heard on AM 850 KOA Radio in Denver, Colorado from 10pm to midnight Pacific Time. The show can be heard in 38 states, Mexico, and Canada, or on the web at 850koa.com.

DOUGLAS DIARIES MARCH 20, 2005 PART I

WELL LOOK OUT BURGLARS…THERE MAY BE A NEW DEVICE COMING TO THE MARKET SOON. SWEDISH SCIENTISTS WERE DESIGNING THIS DEVICE FOR USE ON MARS, BUT INSTEAD IT LOOKS LIKE WE WILL END UP USING IT IN THE HOME TO STOP INTRUDERS.

IT’S A LARGE BLACK BALL THAT USES INFA-RED AND RADAR TO DETECT WHEN SOMEONE ENTERS THE HOUSE.

THE BALL WILL THEN CALL FOR HELP, SOUNDS AN ALARM, AND CHASE AFTER THE INTRUDER TAKING PICTURES.

THE BALL IS CAPABLE OF TRAVELING AT 20 MPH AND CAN OPERATE OVER MUD, SNOW, AND WATER. I DON’T KNOW ABOUT YOU BUT I WANT MINE TO BE EQUIPPED WITH PEPPER SPRAY AND A TASER TOO.

THIS WOULD BE FUN TO WATCH. ACTUALLY, I’VE GOT AN EVEN BETTER IDEA…I AM GOING TO INVITE PEOPLE I DON'T LIKE OVER TO THE HOUSE AND THEN LEAVE A NOTE ON THE DOOR SAYING, “COME ON IN…I’M OUT BACK.”

OR MAYBE I COULD TAKE IT WITH ME IN THE CAR…THEN WHEN SOMEONE ROAD RAGES ON ME, I CAN TURN IT ON AND THROW IT IN THEIR CAR WINDOW.

THOSE OF YOU DISGRUNTLED EMPLOYEES, INSTEAD OF GOING DOWN TO THE OFFICE AND MOWING PEOPLE DOWN WITH AN ASSAULT RIFLE, YOU COULD JUST TOSS THIS HANDY LITTLE DEVICE OVER THE CUBICLE WALL INTO YOUR COWORKERS SPACE. IF THAT'S TOO OBVIOUS, JUST HIDE IT UNDER HIS OR HER DESK WHILE THEY RUN OUT AND GO GET COFFEE.

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WELL LOOK OUT SCOTT PETERSON…APPARENTLY YOU ARE IN FOR A WHOOPIN.

A FELOW DEATH ROW INMATE SAYS PETERSON IS GOING TO HAVE TO PAY FOR KILLING HIS UNBORN CHILD.

NOW I’M NOT TRYING TO SAY IN ANY WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM THAT KILLING AN INFANT ISN’T AWFUL AND GRUSOME AND DISPICABLE IN EVERY WAY. IN FACT, IT’S PROBABLY THE MOST HEINOUS CRIME THERE IS, AT LEAST IN MY MIND. BUT, IN MY OPINION, THE LAST PEOPLE THAT OUGHT TO BE CRITICISING OTHER PEOPLE’S CRIMES ARE THE PEOPLE ON DEATH ROW IN CALIFORNIA.

SINCE WHEN DOES, "WELL I ONLY KILLED A SECURITY GUARD IN AN ATTEMPTED ROBBERY."

"YOU KNOW A GUY WITH A FAMILY, KIDS, A WIFE, WHILE TRYING TO STEAL MONEY THAT DIDN’T BELONG TO ME, BUT I DIDN’T KILL MY PREGNANT WIFE. THAT’S REALLY BAD"

WELL MAYBE IT’S SOME SORT STREET JUSTICE OR KARMA? THE THOUGHT OF SCOTT PETERSON … WELL…. BEING TREATED LIKE SOMEONE ON ONE OF THOSE HBO UNDERCOVER PIMP / PROSTITUTE SHOWS MAKES EVERYONE FEEL BETTER.
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CRIME STATISTICS ARE IN FOR THE NATION AND ONCE AGAIN, AND ONCE AGAIN…DALLAS IS TOPS IN THE RANKS.

THE CRIME RATE IN DALLAS DROPPED FOUR PERCENT OVER THE LAST YEAR, BUT THAT DIDN'T MATTER TO DALLAS. THE CITY IS STILL NUMBER ONE.

THIS IS SURPRISING TO ME SINCE THEY STRAP PEOPLE INTO THE ELECTRIC CHAIR DOWN IN TEXAS LIKE THEY WERE WAITING TO TELL SANTA WHAT THEY WANT FOR CHRISTMAS. MAYBE THE DEATH PENALTY ISN’T A DETERRENT?!

MURDERS ARE OCCURING AT THE RATE OF 20 PER 100,000 RESIDENTS. ALMOST AS FAST AS THE EXECUTION RATE WHICH I WOULD GUESS HAS GOT TO BE ABOUT 1,000 PER 100,000…
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AND SPEAKING OF CRIME, BANK ROBBERIES MAY BE CHANGING THIS CENTURY. NO MORE GUNS, BANK TELLERS, BAGS OF MONEY, AND GETAWAY CARS…

INSTEAD, THE TREND OF THE FUTURE IS A HIGH-TECH HEIST. BELIEVE IT OR NOT, SPYWARE MAY BE THE KEY TO STEALING THE LOOT…. WHO DIDN’T SEE THIS COMING?

I SERIOUSLY DOUBT THOUGH THAT YOUR AVERAGE BANK ROBBER WILL BE SMART ENOUGH TO INFILTRATE A BANK SYSTEM AND WIRE HIMSELF MONEY.

BELIEVE IT OR NOT, AS LONG AS BANKS ARE OPEN, THERE WILL BE GUNS, MASKS, AND MONEY.

AT LEAST FOR US COPS, IT’S JOB SECURITY.
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TOP LAW SCHOOLS LIKE DUKE, STANFORD, UCLA, YALE AND NORTHWESTERN HAVE EACH BEEN GIVEN A MILLION DOLLARS TO MAKE ANIMAL LAW ATTORNEYS. NO, FIDO WON’T BE TRYING YOUR NEXT CASE…

INSTEAD, THE ENDOWMENTS WERE A GIFT FROM NONE OTHER THAN THE PRICE IS RIGHT’S BOB BARKER. THERE’S A SURPRISE. I’M NOT RIPPING ON CELEBRITIES, BECAUSE THEY ALWAYS SEEM TO CARE ABOUT THESE CAUSES WHICH MOST AMERICANS DON’T HAVE TIME FOR.

BUT IT DOES MAKE ME ILL, WHEN THEY JUST HAND OUT MILLIONS FOR SEEMINGLY RIDICULOUS THINGS. WHEN I HEAR THIS TYPE OF THING I ALWAYS THINK, "I COULD DO SO MUCH GOOD WITH THAT MONEY."

stevedouglasradio@yahoo.com

Steve Douglas can be heard on AM 850 KOA Radio in Denver, Colorado from 10pm to midnight Pacific Time. The show can be heard in 38 states, Mexico, and Canada, or on the web at 850koa.com.

DOUGLAS DIARIES MARCH 13, 2005 PART II

A NEW STUDY SAYS THAT REGULAR BRUSHING AND FLOSSING MAY HELP YOU BATTLE HEART DISEASE…THE LATEST FINDINGS SAY THAT CHRONIC INFLAMMATION FROM GUM DISEASE MAY CREATE A SITUATION WHERE THE BACTERIA FROM YOUR MOUTH WILL GET INTO YOUR BLOOD STREAM AND MAY PROMPT INFLAMATION OF THE ARTERIES.

I DON’T KNOW WHY, AS YOU KNOW, I NEVER BELIEVE THESE MEDICAL STUDIES, BUT FOR SOME REASON I BUY THIS ONE. SO, IF YOU DON’T FLOSS TO ENSURE YOUR BREATH DOESN’T STINK FOR THE SAKE OF EVERYONE AROUND YOU, AT LEAST DO IT FOR YOUR HEART.
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THE DEFIANT DOUGHNUT IS MANAGING TO SURVIVE ALL OF THE LATEST AND GREATEST DIET TRENDS…AMERICANS STILL EAT ROUGHLY 10 BILLION DOUGHNUTS A YEAR.

EXPERTS ARE SAYING IT MAY BE THE SHAPE OF THE DOUGHNUT THAT MAKES IT SO POPULAR. LISTEN. THAT’S NOT THE CASE. THIS SHOULDN’T BE A SURPRISE TO ANYONE. YOU COULD MAKE DOUGHNUTS IN THE SHAPE OF A PILE OF DOG CRAP, BUT AFTER YOU DEEP FRY IT AND THEN TOP IT WITH A SUGAR GLAZE OR MELTED CHOCOLATE, IT’S GOING TO TASTE GOOD AND PEOPLE WILL WANT TO EAT IT.
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CONGRESS AND MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL ARE STILL FIGHTING OVER STEROIDS… IT SEEM LIKE BASEBALL HAS TURNED THE BLIND EYE TO THE DRUG USE PERPETRATING ITS RANKS.

THIS IS PATHETIC. MONEY SEEMS TO BE MORE IMPORTANT TO THOSE IN SPORTS. IN MY MIND, STERIOD USE IS CHEATING, AND CHEATING SHOULDN’T BE TOLERATED.

WHAT MESSAGE DOES IT SEND TO PEOPLE WHEN THOSE USING THE DRUG ARE FAMOUS MILLIONAIRES AND THERE’S NO REPRICUSSIONS FOR THEIR ACTIONS?

ATHLETES WHO USE STEROIDS SHOULD BE BANNED FROM THEIR SPORT FOR LIFE WITH NO EXCEPTIONS…JUST LIKE PETE ROSE WAS FOR GAMBLING. THEN THE MESSAGE TO KIDS AND THE REST OF AMERICA WON’T CONTINUE TO BE THAT MONEY IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN HONESTY.
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ACTRESS TARA REID IS SUING THE OWNERS OF A LAS VEGAS CONDOMINIUM PROJECT THIS WEEK FOR USING HER NAME IN AN ADD THAT APPEARS TO BE A REFERENCE TO THE ACCIDENTAL EXPOSURE OF HER BREAST LAST YEAR AS SHE POSED ON THE RED CARPET.

REID SAID SHE HAD NO IDEA THE STRAP OF HER DRESS HAD SLIPPED OFF HER SHOULDER AND HER BREAST WAS HANGING OUT IN FRONT OF THE PAPARAZZI AS SHE WALKED THE RED CARPET AT SEAN P. DIDDY COMS 35TH BIRTHDAY PARTY.

THE AD FOR THE CONDOMINIMS SAYS, "DEAR TARA REID, COME LET IT ALL HANG OUT."

NOW, MS. REID…IF WE LEARNED ANYTHING FROM JANET JACKSON IT’S THAT BREASTS IN THE NORMAL COURSE OF A DAY DON’T JUST ACCIDENTALLY POP OUT. BUT, IF BY SOME CRAZY HAPPENSTANCE, IT DID POP OUT, I’M SURE YOU WOULD REALIZE IT IMMEDIATIELY.

NOW, IT’S NEVER HAPPENED, BUT I GUARANTEE I WOULD KNOW IF MY ONE-EYED WILLIE WAS LOOKING OUT OF THE FRONT DOOR….
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KIDS NOWADAYS ARE SO GOOD AT MULTI TASKING AND ALWAYS PLUGGED IN TO A VARIETY OF DIFFERENT MEDIA AT ANY ONE TIME. THEY ARE LISTENING TO IPODS, PLAYING A HAND-HELD VIDEO GAME IN FRONT OF THE TV. KIDS ARE NOW MANAGING TO PACK 8 ½ HOURS OF MEDIA EXPOSURE INTO 6 AND ½ HOURS OF EACH DAY, SEVEN DAYS A WEEK.

NO WONDER WHY ATTENTION DEFECIT DISORDER IS EVERYWHERE.
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AND ROD STEWART IS GOING TO TIE THE KNOT….AGAIN

THIS TIME HE FINALLY GOT IT RIGHT, HE’S GOING TO MARRY..

{DRUM ROLL}

BARRY MANILOW….

ACTUALLY HE’S GOING TO MARRY PENNY LANCASTER…BUT THIS BRINGS UP AN INTERESTING POINT…HAS ANYONE EVER SEEN BARRY MANILOW AND ROD STEWART AT THE SAME TIME IN THE SAME PLACE?

HMMMMMM…….

stevedouglasradio@yahoo.com

Steve Douglas can be heard on AM 850 KOA Radio in Denver, Colorado from 10pm to midnight Pacific Time. The show can be heard in 38 states, Mexico, and Canada, or on the web at 850koa.com.

DOUGLAS DIARIES MARCH 13, 2005 PART I

HERE’S SOME GOOD NEWS…MCDONALDS IS LOOKING INTO USING REMOTE CALL CENTERS TO TAKE CUSTOMER'S ORDERS AT THE DRIVE THROUGH.

SO APPARENTLY, IT’S NOT BAD ENOUGH WHEN YOU TRY TO ORDER SOMETHING FROM SAY DELL COMPUTERS AND YOU HAVE TO SPEAK TO SOMEONE IN INDIA WHO BARELY SPEAKS ANY ENGLISH (NOT THAT I HAVE ANYTHING AGAINST INDIA OR IT’S PEOPLE). GO AHEAD AND TRY ASKING A COMPLEX COMPUTER QUESTIONS ABOUT YOUR ORDER BEFORE BUYING SOMETHING ON THE PHONE AND TELL ME THIS ISN’T A PROBLEM….BUT NOW YOU’LL BE ORDERING A BIG MAC MORE CAREFULLY AS WELL. " I SAID NO SPECIAL SAUCE!!! YOU KNOW, THAT ORANGE STUFF ON THE BURGER!!" THANKFULLY, MCDONALDS ISN’T PLANNING ON OUTSOURCING THESE CALL CENTERS OVERSEAS….YET

BUT IT IS POSSIBLE YOU WILL BE ORDERING A BIG MAC FROM SOMEONE IN TEXAS IF YOU ARE IN COLORADO. A SPOKESMAN FOR THE COMPANY SAYS THE CALL CENTER WILL EMPLOY PROFESSIONALS WITH “VERY STRONG COMMUNICATION SKILLS.” NOW, HAS ANYONE EVER TALKED TO ANYONE AT ANY CALL CENTER WITH VERY STRONG COMMUNICATION SKILLS? I HAVE A SURPRISE FOR EVERYONE…PEOPLE WITH STRONG COMMUNICATION SKILLS ARE USUALLY IN HIGH DEMAND AT WELL PAYING JOBS…NOT AT CALL CENTERS.

THE SPOKESMAN SAYS THIS SYSTEM WILL BOOST ORDER ACCURACY AND ULTIMATELY SPEED UP THE TIME IT TAKES CUSTOMERS TO GET IN AND OUT OF THE DRIVE THROUGHS.

THERE IS NO WAY POSSIBLE IN MY MIND THAT THIS COULD SPEED UP THE DRIVE THRU. SOMEONE EXPLAIN TO ME HOW ORDERING YOUR FOOD FROM SOMEONE IN A DIFFERENT STATE WILL BOOST ACCURACY. LISTEN, IF YOU WORK AT MCDONALDS AND YOU CAN’T GET ORDERS RIGHT THEN REALLY THERE IS NO HOPE FOR YOU IN THIS WORLD. WORK REALLY COULDN’T GET MORE SIMPLE….YET SCORES OF PEOPLE ACROSS THE NATION STILL MANAGE TO LET THIS LITTLE SKILL ELUDE THEM.
___________________________A NEW HIGH TECH DEVICE IS ON THE MARKET FOR INFANTS. YES, DIAPER CONSUMERS ARE MOVING AWAY FROM THOSE LITTLE ATTACHED DISPOSABLE POTTIES AND GOING WITH STAIN-PROOF CLOTH DIAPERS INSTEAD. AND NOW, THESE CLOTH DIAPERS WILL ACTAULLY ALLOW AIR TO FLOW THROUGH THE DIAPER TO KEEP THE FANNY OF THE TODDLER DRIER.

NOW IF MY CALCULATIONS ARE CORRECT…IF AIR IS ALLOWED TO MOVE THROUGH THE DIAPER, IT MUST TRAVEL INTO THE DIAPER AND THEN OUT AGAIN. THIS MEANS THE SMELL WILL BE CARRIED BY THIS “AIR” RIGHT OUT INTO THE OPEN….THUS…WE WILL MORE EASILY SMELL - - YOU KNOW WHAT. I DON’T LIKE THIS IDEA….WHO CARES IF KIDS GET DIAPER RASH? THAT’S WHAT POWDER IS FOR….IT’S NOT LIKE DIAPER RASH IS RESPONSIBLE FOR TODDLER DEATHS ALL OVER THE WORLD. I’M SURE I HAD DIAPER RASH AND I TURNED OUT JUST FINE.

AND THAT’S NOT A HIGH TECH DIAPER EITHER…I HIGH TECH DIAPER WOULD ALERT YOU WHEN IT’S ABOUT TO BE USED SO YOU COULD GET THE KID TO A TOILET. A HIGH TECH DIAPER WOULD DISPOSE OF THE WASTE AND WIPE THE BUTT OF THE BABY. NOW THAT'S HIGH-TECH.
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FOLGERS COFFEE HAS INCREASED ITS LIST GROUND COFFEE PRICE BY 12 PERCENT DUE TO RISING BEAN PRICES ON THE FUTURES MARKET.

THIS IS INTERESTING BECAUSE I DIDN’T KNOW FOLGERS WAS MADE FROM REAL COFFEE BEANS. NEVERHTELESS, THOSE DISOLVING CRYSTALS, WHICH DON’T TASTE A THING LIKE COFFEE ARE NOW GOING TO COST YOU MORE.
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DOWN IN FLORIDA, SENATOR AL LAWSON’S LATEST IDEA TO HELP PAY FOR WASTEWATER TREATMENT AND HELP SMALL TOWNS AND COUNTIES UPGRADE THEIR SEWER SYSTEMS IS TO IMPOSE A TWO CENT PER ROLL TAX ON TOILET PAPER.

NOW…IF MY MATH IS CORRECT, IF TOILET PAPER IS TAXED…THEN PEOPLE WILL NATURALLY TRY TO USE LESS OF IT. THIS MAY NOT BE A GOOD THING.

REALLY CHEAP PEOPLE WILL PROBABLY GO GET LEAVES OFF THE TREE AND PRETEND THEY ARE CAMPING. THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE MANLY MEN, WILL JUST USE PAPER TOWELS…

PEOPLE IN BOULDER, COLORADO AND OTHER ENVIRONMENTALISTS MAY RESORT TO USING WASH CLOTHS THEN JUST HAVING THEM LAUNDERED.

BOTTOM LINE: PROBABLY NOT A GOOD IDEA TO TAX TOILET PAPER.____________________________________________
BOB SCHIEFFER TOOK OVER THIS WEEK FOR DAN RATHER. RATHER, FOR ONE LAST NIGHT ON WEDNESDAY, WAS NUMBER ONE IN THE RATINGS… SCHIEFFER CALLED HIMSELF, “NOT EXACTLY A NEW FACE”

NO KIDDING BOB…I’VE SEEN PETRIFIED WOOD THAT LOOKS YOUNGER THAN YOU.

SCHIEFFER ISN’T THE REPLACEMENT FOR RATHER, BY THE WAY, HE’S JUST AN INTERIM ANCHOR.
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DOUGLAS DIARIES MARCH 6, 2005 PART II

MILLIONAIRE ADVENTURER STEVE FOSSETT TOUCHED DOWN ON U.S. SOIL THURSDAY AFTERNOON AFTER COMPLETING HIS QUEST TO BECOME THE FIRST PERSON TO CIRCUMNAVIGATE THE GLOBE ALONE WITHOUT STOPPING OR REFUELING.

DOES ANYONE CARE ABOUT THIS? IS THIS WHAT MILLIONAIRES DO IN THEIR SPARE TIME? THEY BUY THEIR OWN SPECIAL PLANES AND THEN ATTEMPT TO DO STUPID, RIDICULOUS THINGS THAT NOBODY WILL CARE ABOUT. ALL SO THEY CAN BE PUT IN SOME BOOK THAT EVERYBODY HAS HEARD OF BUT NOBODY ACTUALLY BUYS.

IT’S TRUE. HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A GUINESS BOOK OF WORLD RECORDS AT SOMEONE’S HOUSE? DO YOU SEE THIS IN DOCTOR’S OFFICE WAITING ROOMS? IS THIS ON COFFEE TABLES AROUND AMERICA AND I’M JUST NOT HANGING OUT WITH THE RIGHT CROWD?

THIS KIND OF STUNT ISN’T HELPFUL FOR MAN KIND OR FOR SOCIETY…THIS DOESN’T FURTHER ANY CAUSE.

HI. I’M STEVE FOSSETT AND I FLEW AROUND THE WORLD WITHOUT REFUELING.

WOW….REALLY? THAT’S SO COOL. SO YOU SPENT 67 HOURS IN A PLANE AND FLEW AROUND THE WORLD? AND YOU DIDN’T REFUEL HUH?

YES

HAVEN’T TONS OF OTHER PEOPLE FLOWN AROUND THE WORLD?

YEAH..BUT I DID IT ALONE…AND I DIDN’T STOP OR REFUEL

WOW

YUP

THAT’S SOMETHIN

YUP

SIR RICHARD BRANSON BY THE WAY WAS THERE TO CELEBRATE THE LANDING AND OPENED A BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE.

MAYBE NEXT ONE OF THEM CAN FLY AROUND THE WORLD SITTING ON A TOILET SEAT WITHOUT STOPPING OR REFUELING. THAT WOULD BE EQUALLY IMPRESSIVE WOULDN’T IT?
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HIGH TECH HUNTERS ARE COMING UNDER FIRE FOR THE SOFISTICATED ELECTRONIC EQUIPMENT NOW ON THE MARKET.

REMOTE CONTROLLED CAMERAS, MOTORIZED DUCKS AND DEER DECOYS, ELECTRONIC DUCK CALLS, ARE JUST A FEW.

NOW I’M NOT AGAINST HUNTING, BUT I THINK IF YOU ARE GOING TO HUNT, THAT IT SHOULD AT LEAST BE FAIR. AFTER ALL, WE COULD JUST GO OUT TO THE WILD AND DROP A BOMB ON AN ENTIRE WILDLIFE REFUGE…KILLING EVERYTHING.

WE ALL KNOW WE’RE CAPABLE OF KILLING THESE ANIMALS, AND IF YOU DON’T, YOU NEED HELP. THIS DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE TO WORK FOR IT THOUGH…DON’T YOU THINK?
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ARNOLD SCHWARZENIGGER IS TRYING TO BAN ALL SALES OF JUNK FOOD IN CALIFORNIA….NOW I DON’T KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT THIS IS LIKE BILL CLINTON LECTURING ME ON FIDELITY.

THIS MAN PUT DRUGS IN HIS SYSTEM, ARTIFICIALLLY BULKED UP, AND NOW IF A KID WANTS A PACK OF HO-HO’S HE’S GOING TO SAY NO? MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS MUSCLE MAN.
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NOW, IT'S OFF TO WASHINGTON WHERE TREASURY SECRETARY JOHN SNOW ON SUNDAY WOULD NOT RULE OUT THE IDEA OF IRISH SINGER BONO, AN ACTIVIST ON DEBT RELEIF AND AIDS, MAKING THE SHORT LIST OF POTENTIAL CANDIDATES TO LEAD THE WORLD BANK.

“HE’S SOMEBODY I ADMIRE. HE DOES A LOT OF GOOD IN THIS WORLD OF ECONOMIC DEVELOPMENT.”

MR. SNOW. WE ALL LIKE U-2….BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN YOU PUT THE SINGER IN CHARGE OF THE WORLD BANK. THEY ARE SAYING, BY THE WAY, THAT HE IS ACTUALLY QUALIFIED FOR THIS POSITION…YEAH SURE.

I LIKE HOMER SIMPSON, BUT YOU DON’T SEE ME TRYING TO GET HIM TO RUN FOR PRESIDENT DO YOU? I LIKE MICHAEL JACKSON’S MUSIC, BUT YOU WOULDN’T SEE ME MAKING HIM THE SECRETARY OF EDUCATION.

GOOD GRIEF.

stevedouglasradio@yahoo.com

Steve Douglas can be heard on AM 850 KOA Radio in Denver, Colorado from 10pm to midnight Pacific Time. The show can be heard in 38 states, Mexico, and Canada, or on the web at 850koa.com.

Douglas Diaries March 6, 2005 Part I

THE SENATE IS GEARING UP FOR A VOTE ON WHETHER TO RAISE THE MINIMUM WAGE FOR THE FIRST TIME IN EIGHT YEARS…

ISN’T THAT REALLY ALL THE MORE ONE NEEDS TO KNOW? I WOULD SAY THAT IF YOU HAVEN’T RAISED THE MINIMUM WAGE IN ALMOST A DECADE IT’S WELL OVERDUE. VOTE ALREADY…
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I DON’T KNOW IF YOU SAW THIS BUT FISHERMEN OFF THE NANTUCKET COAST CAUGHT A 22 POUND LOBSTER.

THE FIRST THING I WONDERED WAS IF I COULD EAT 22 POUNDS OF LOBSTER WITHOUT THROWING UP …BUT APPARENTLY OTHERS TRIED AND TRIED TO SPARE THE ANOMILE THAT ANIMAL LOVERS CALLED BUBBA, AND THEY SUCEEDED.

OLD BUBBA WAS SPARED…AND THEY MOVED HIM TO THE PITTSBURGH ZOO AQUARIUM WHERE BUBBA PROMPTLY … DIED.

AND PEOPLE ACTUALLY WONDERED WHY. BUBBA WAS ESTIMATED TO BE 100 YEARS OLD. YOU DON’T TAKE A HUNDRED YEAR OLD CREATURE, PICK HIM UP IN A NET, THROW HIM IN A WATER TANK, TOSS HIM IN A PLANE … FLY HIS ASS TO PITTSBURGH…TOSS HIM IN ANTOHER TANK AND THEN LET PEOPLE PAY TO GAUK AT HIM WITHOUT SOME RAMIFICATIONS.

IF I WAS THE FISHERMAN WHO CAUGHT BUBBA I WOULD HAVE SAID … YOU MADE IT A HUNDRED YEARS WITHOUT BEING CAUGHT SO BACK YA GO. WHO WANTS TO EAT AN ELDERLY LOBSTER ANYWAY?
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A NEW STUDY SAYS THAT PERFORMERS WHO GO LATER ON IN A COMPETITION USUALLY FARE BETTER WITH THEIR SCORE.

THIS ISN’T VERY HELPFUL SINCE MOST OF US WON’T BE SINGING ON AMERICAN IDOL ANYTIME SOON.

BUT IT’S ONE OF THOSE TID BITS YOU CAN STORE IN YOUR MIND. IF LET’S SAY YOU HAPPEN TO BE IN A MENAGE A TROIS ANYTIME SOON, YOU MIGHT WANT TO GO SECOND…SO YOU’LL BE REMEMBERED AS THE BETTER ONE.
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A NEWS STUDY THIS WEEK OUT OF PORTLAND, OREGON SAYS THAT SUICIDES HAVE OUTNUMBERED HOMICIDES IN THE UNITED STATES AND SOME 90 PERCENT OF PEOPLE WHO KILL THEMSELVES SUFFER FROM A DIANOSABLE AND PREVENTABLE PROBLEM LIKE DEPRESSION.

WOW…SO PEOPLE WHO KILL THEMSELVES ARE DEPRESSED? THESE GUYS ARE ON TOP OF THEIR GAME ARENT’ THEY?

BUT I THOUGHT THAT WAS INTERESTING THOUGH…WE ARE DYING LESS AT THE HANDS OF OTHERS THAN WE ARE BY OUR OWN HANDS.

SO DOES THIS MEAN I HAVE A GREATER CHANCE OF KILLING MYSELF THAN BEING KILLED?
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THOSE OF YOU TERRIFIED OF AIR TRAVEL LIKE ME…LISTEN UP. THIS SHOULD MAKE EVERYONE FEEL BETTER…A BRITISH AIRWAYS JET CONTINUED ON AN 11 HOUR FLIGHT TO LONDON AFTER LOSING ONE OF ITS FOUR ENGINES SHORTLY AFTER TAKING OFF FROM LOS ANGELES INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT.
THE PILOT MADE AN EMERGENCY LANDING IN MANCHESTER ENGLAND ABOUT 160 MILES SHORT OF LONDON NOT BECAUSE OF THE ENGINE THOUGH…BUT BECAUE THE PLANE WAS RUNNING LOW ON FUEL.

ALL 351 PASSENGERS WERE FINE AND THE PLANE CROSSED THE ATLANTIC WITH ONLY 3 ENGINES…

I STILL DON’T FELL BETTER.
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A NEW SURVEY SAYS THAT GAS PRICES ARE UP. HEY…I DON’T NEED A SURVEY TO TELL ME THAT GAS PRICES WENT UP. IT’S NOW OVER THIRTY DOLLARS TO FILL MY CAR UP. THANK GOD I DON’T DRIVE AN SUV.

I THINK THE $1.25 DAYS REALLY ARE GONE. I WAS HOLDING OUT HOPE THAT THEY WOULD COME BACK…BUT I THINK THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL HAS OFFICIALLY BEEN EXTINGUISHED.

stevedouglasradio@yahoo.com

Steve Douglas can be heard on AM 850 KOA Radio in Denver, Colorado from 10pm to midnight Pacific Time. The show can be heard in 38 states, Mexico, and Canada, or on the web at 850koa.com.

What this is...

The Steve Douglas Show airs on AM850 KOA in Denver on Sunday evenings from 10pm to midnight Pacific Time. The show airs in 38 states, Mexico and Canada.

Steve is a police officer in the Metro-Denver area during the week.

At the beginning of every hour, there is a "Douglas Diaries" segment, which is news from around the world with a splash of attitude. Some Douglas Diaries are posted here for your enjoyment. Please understand, these are written in a format which is easy to read. Therefore, punctuation, grammar and spelling are often non-traditional. Read it as if you were hearing it and all should be just fine.

Steve will be along soon to introduce himself.

stevedouglasradio@yahoo.com

Steve Douglas can be heard on AM 850 KOA Radio in Denver, Colorado from 10pm to midnight Pacific Time. The show can be heard in 38 states, Mexico, and Canada, or on the web at 850koa.com.